February 27, 2011

Breaking the Rules

It seems there are lots of "rules" for parenting.  I've found myriads of websites and books full of advice on how to get your baby to sleep better, things they should be doing by a certain age, ages by which you should stop doing things, etc.  I occasionally read these sites and, as a result, I frequently find that I'm already breaking a lot of the parenting rules.  It may come back to bite us at some time in the future, but in many cases, I don't seem to have the self-discipline to change my ways.  Here are a few examples:

1.  Rocking to Sleep.  Most of the websites and baby books say that, by this age, Amelia should be going to sleep by herself.  That is, I shouldn't be rocking her to sleep every night.  I break this rule for purely selfish reasons.  Rocking Amelia to sleep is one of my favorite times of the day.  As soon as the lights are out, she relaxes in my arms and, in turn, I relax.  She always goes to sleep pretty quickly as we rock and sing songs (always the same songs and always in the same order).  When I'm sure she's asleep, I put her in her crib with a kiss goodnight and sneak out.  I've read that this is a bad practice and that I'll regret it when I'm still rocking her at age three, but at least for now, I'll take that risk.  My thought is that the time for transition may be when she goes from crib to toddler bed.  We'll see :-).

2.  Night Bottle and Co-Sleeping.  Almost ALL of the baby books say that Amelia should not be having a bottle at night anymore and should be sleeping the whole night in her crib.  Amelia's sleep pattern is such that she wakes almost every night/morning at 4am (or sometimes a little before).  Experience has taught us that, at this point, we have two choices:  (1) try to get her back to sleep in her crib for the next two hours and listen to two hours of screaming with no more sleeping for anyone; OR (2) give her a bottle, put her in the bed between Bill and me and peacefully obtain another 3 - 3.5 hours of sleep.  Again, for selfish reasons, we've been opting for Alternative #2 . . . . but unlike the rocking, I have mixed feelings about this one.  The night bottle, I don't really care about.  Amelia is pretty underweight and I feel like the one big bottle of toddler formula that she gets at this time (she is drinking whole-milk from a sippy-cup otherwise) ensures that she gets at least one good serving of vitamins, Iron, etc., each day.  She drinks it quickly, so it's not like we sit around for an hour waiting for her to finish the bottle before we can go back to bed.  I also kind of like our family "wake up time" -- every morning Amelia sits up with a great big smile and says "Uh Oh!!"  Then we have play time for a while before climbing out of bed to start the day.  But I know that this is going to have to stop before Billy gets here.  Having all 4 of us in the same room (even with Billy in the bassinet) may be a bit much.  Bill says that maybe we try to break her of coming into our bed over his spring break.  At least that way, if we have to get up a 4am, there might be a mid-day nap for him.

I'm sure that there are a lot of other parenting rules that we're breaking - letting her unload the kitchen cabinets, letting her "run" on the treadmill (not turned on), etc.  Maybe I'll elaborate on those some other time, but I realize this entry is getting a little long.  We tried letting Amelia feed herself for the first time last night (there has to be a first time for everything, right?).  Below are the results.  Enjoy :-).

(Click on the thumbnails below to view a larger version).