We're well into week fourteen.  No new photos or noticeable physical changes to report this week, so I guess I'll post a little more about what's been going on inside the pregnant lady's head (dangerous territory, I know!).
 
I've been realizing lately that there are a lot of scary things about having a baby. 
 
Scary Pregnancy Thing #1:  Delivery
 
I guess the most obviously scary thing about pregnancy is the ever-looming idea of delivery. 
 
Bill and I had to sign up for "birth classes" this week, and that got me thinking about the reality of what is actually going to happen during this process -- about just exactly what is going to fit through where!?!   When these thoughts started surfacing, I attempted to employ different techniques in order to quell the anxiety.  First, I figured that I would just not think about it.  But then I realized that this technique is not going to work for long.  Probably not once the baby starts really getting big and definitely not after we have to attend one of those "prepared birth" classes (or as my friend, Michelle, calls them "Scare the Pregnant Lady Classes").   As a second technique, I tried to think about all of my friends who have survived the baby delivery process.  But this got me thinking about the entries in their baby blogs reporting on delivery -- some pretty scary stories there!  Finally, I settled on a technique that I think will work.  I've decided that I'm just going to compare delivery in my mind to other challenges that I've voluntarily undertaken.  The first one that comes to mind is running an ultra marathon.  I think the analogy works.  All of the ultra marathons were exhausting and not exactly fun (parts of them were very painful), but with the finish line always came an enormous sense of accomplishment and I was never sad that I had undertaken the adventure.  In many many ways, I expect that this new adventure will be far more rewarding.  Instead of a finishers medal to gather dust in the closet, we'll have a child to love, a new beginning, a new branch of the Kalahurka family tree.  
 
Scary Pregnancy Thing #2:  Will I Ever Be the Same?
 
The second scary thing about pregnancy has been on my mind as a result of recent conversations with my running buddies and posts on my other pregnant running friends' blogs (including a very neat survey conducted by Michelle).  Scary Pregnancy Thing #2 is the inevitable change in my life that will come during late pregnancy and in those first few weeks after Baby Kalahurka finally arrives.  Who knows how things will go.  It's possible that everything will be great and I'll be able to stay pretty active right up until the baby comes and again very soon thereafter.  In a number of recent conversations with my expecting friends, however, we have been exchanging fears about the other possibility -- the possibility that the delivery could be difficult and that there could be bed rest before or a long recovery after.  Either of these circumstances would mean sidelining things I enjoy (such as activity and exercise) for much longer than seems desirable.  After giving it some thought though, I have found a way to ease the anxiety in this department too.  When Scary Pregnancy Thing #2 bubbles to the surface, I just remind myself of a little story that goes like this:
Once upon a time, a girl named Steph was working quietly at her desk in Dallas when she sneezed.  Now, this was not just an everyday sneeze.  It was a dreadful, unfortunate sneeze.  As a result of the dreadful, unfortunate sneeze, Steph blew out a lung and spent the next full month as a guest in a 10X12 room at the Baylor Medical Center.  There, she was restricted to walking no more than from the bed to the bathroom and back, and had nothing to do except worry about whether she would ever be able to exercise or be active again.  Eventually, the month passed.  Steph escaped from the Medical Center and after about another month of rest and then gradual (but determined) work, she was able to return to the same level of exercise and activity that she had known before the dreadful, unfortunate sneeze. 
Admittedly, the story is not exactly a happy one (and I could add about six or seven other similar stories here), but all of these stories have a very applicable moral.  That moral is this -- there are lots of things in life that we can't control.  Sometimes unpleasant things happen, but they usually don't last forever.  Most of the time, setbacks are only temporary.  This is especially true if you are sufficiently determined to make a comeback.  Remembering that helps me get past Scary Pregnancy Thing #2. 
 
Scary Pregnancy Thing #3:  Keep reading . . . .
 
And all of this now brings us to perhaps the most scary thing about pregnancy.  I think perhaps novelist Elizabeth Stone said it best:
 
"Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body."  
 
I've been thinking about this last most of all.  I've decided that there may not be a good answer to extinguish the anxiety here.  If you've got ideas or experiences to share (especially if you have successfully survived parenthood), well . . . I'm all ears . . . .